RUN YOUR MOUTH, CRIPPLE YOUR DESTINY

Pro 13:3  He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.

Several years ago, as a secondary schools student, I had a classmate who was very garrulous. He was noted by every student in the school as a talkative. He had something to say on every subject matter. Even when an incident did not happen in his presence, he would attempt to give a detailed account of it far more than those who were physically present there.

Initially, we enjoyed his exaggerations and his talkative nature, for there was never a dull moment with him. But while we enjoyed his unbridled verbal diarrhea , we never took seriously any of his pronouncements.

In our final year, when it was time to choose prefects to oversee the affairs of the students, news filtered into our ears that the name of our talkative friend was penciled down by the teachers as the senior prefect. Those days, students did not have a say in who becomes a prefect. That was the exclusive prerogative of the teachers.

Indeed Kolade, our talkative brilliant friend was cerebral enough to lead the students in any academic setting. But the majority of us detested him secretly because of his lack of decorum whenever it comes to giving expressions to his feelings!

One after the other, we expressed our reservations to those teachers who were close to us, and by the end of the following week when the final selection was made, the name of Kolade, the garrulous, was conspicuously absent from the list of school prefects. Not only was he dropped as the proposed Senior Prefect, he was dropped from the entire list of prefects.

When you talk too much, people think lowly of you. This is largely because often a time, you would end up making unguarded remarks that would diminish your reputation and cheapen your person in the eyes of your listeners.

It is not compulsory for you to comment on every subject matter. Choose the issues you would comment on and choose your words carefully. Sometimes, it may be necessary for you to express far less than you know on a subject matter.

One of those moments when one is tempted to talk is when one is very angry. When angry, one could say things that ordinarily would not proceed forth out of one's mouth. People have been known to say things angrily which they later regret when the tempers are down. So, it is wise to adopt the principle that; when angry, don't talk. It may be wise to take this a little further. When angry, don't take any decision because chances are that decisions taken in an angry state of mind are often jaundiced!

Another means by which people cheapen themselves is by the contents of their conversations on the mobile phones. If you are meeting a person for the first time, or you have been seeing the person from afar and seek to access the person more intimately, all you need do is to listen to the conversation of that person on phone!

Recently, I hosted a highly respected dignitary in my office. He had come to discuss an important personal matter. In the middle of our conversation, his cell phone rang. I was taken aback at his ringing tone. For someone of that status, I didn't expect that he would use the ringing tone that was more popularly with street urchins than elites!

He signaled to me that he would like to pick his call as it was coming from his wife. I had never met his wife before, neither had I visited his family. However, from the sudden mean expression on his face and the harsh tune with which he communicated with his wife, I had a fair idea of what manner of atmosphere existed in his home. His conversation on phone gave him away.

A few minutes later, another call came in and again, he begged me to allow him pick the call. This time, he didn't tell me who was calling, but from the tune of the conversation, the other fellow must be a business associate. He told the fellow that he should tell another business associate that he was not in the country and that his domicilliary account should be credited so that he could tidy up the transaction in China. 
He was in my office in Akure, yet he was claiming to be tidying up a transaction in the Asian country of China!

I didn't betray my emotions. I acted like i didn't take note of his conversations. But deep down within me, my heart bled. I wept because this was someone many of us looked up to as a trail blazer. At a point, I wondered whether he had forgotten that he was not alone in that office. The truth is, he did not have the knowledge that people's opinion of him would largely be colored by what he says and how he says it.

The words that proceed forth out of the mouth of a man determines the gross worth of that man. When you talk too much, you loose value in the eyes of the people. Even a fool appears wise until he opens his mouth to speak!

There is a principle I developed several years ago as a secondary school student. Before I speak a word out, I first speak it to myself. This principle has helped me tremendously over the years. I don't just talk. I first analyse the weight and possible effects of my pronouncements before making them.

In the event of contributing to an issue of controversy, talk because you have something to say and not because you have to say something!

This has acted as a safety valve for me and has largely prevented me from making remarks which i would later turn around to regret, for i have learnt that what people hear you say will colour their opinion of your person.

Agreed, I have goofed once or twice and have had to lick my wounds thereafter...

Yet in all, the knowledge and application of this principle is akin to the brake pad of a car. 
To set out on a long drive without the brake pad of a car functionally in situ, is akin to setting out per time, living without the safety valve in your mouth, for to run your mouth is to cripple your destiny.

Dr. Thomas-Wilson Ikubese
Akure.